Break Down
by Christine Lennoire
Summary: Kurama's having a nightmare, and it will take devotion and love to pull him out of this slump. Can everyone's favorite fire demon awaken him from his inner turmoil? songfic. HxK


Break Down

By Christine Lennoire

Terrible throbbing pains… distant pounding heart… Kurama felt the room spinning, but it didn't really feel like he was in that room. It was more like he was watching it from a distance without being able to really do anything about it. Curling himself up tightly, he fought to escape the world he was stuck in and run away to some new plane of existence, if only he could. Tears leaked from his eyes, as he only shut them tighter to attempt to stop the liquid from flowing. Aggravation tore at his soul as he fought to stay conscious.

_Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly_

_The sound of distant, cracking thunder_

A storm was at its peak right outside his window. Each strike of thunder or lightning went straight to his heart and his head and he couldn't resist the temptation to sink further into the depths of his nightmare. Maybe running away was the answer, but he couldn't even stand. His legs were jelly and he could feel them shaking without really trying, so he held them tighter, drawing them closer, trying to bridge the gap between his pain and his heart and heal it. Nothing worked, and he could not dissipate the hurt and fear. Letting go of the restraints on his mind and body, he slumped into a depressed state of being.

_Whenever I stand, my steps sway_

_Borrowing the words of a war person_

_Borrowing the form of nostalgic days_

_Bad dreams step ever closer._

Last night, he had this nightmare, but not even seeing the images before his eyes in sleep had scarred him so deeply. It was like his nightmare was his life and he was going to die before he could dislodge himself from the horrid view. Cold winds swept against his back from the window he forgot to shut. It had been only minutes ago when he went to open it and had been swept into this mood. It was like a spell came over him: no explanation or anything, just a sweeping feeling of worthlessness and weakness. When he was little, he used to have these all the time, but… he hadn't had one since. Kurama could only wonder what brought it on.

_Nightmare!_

The wind struck again, stronger this time. It wasn't a normal storm. Debris was flying everywhere. The tree outside his window began to bend under the weight and crashed through his window and stayed there. Swaying branches and rustling leaves were the last movements it made. Although it made a loud crash Kurama forgot to notice while curled up on his bed. However, a fire demon passing by did notice the tree sticking out of Kurama's window and scraped in. "Stupid fox! There's a damn tree in your window! What are you…" he stopped to look at the bundled mess and touched an anxious hand to his shoulder.

_A strange voice, a cold hand…_

_From out of the darkness they call me_

_Again and again they call me._

"Kurama!?" Hiei panicked, sitting down on the edge of the bed and shaking Kurama via the shoulder. When he refused to respond, Hiei continued to shake more and more forcefully. Expressive green eyes stared back at him, but they weren't seeing him, or much of anything on this plane anyway. Truly concerned, Hiei ceased shaking him and, under protest, changed his terrible shaking into a soft and gentle motion he remembered Kurama using on him before when he was upset. He didn't know much about comforting, but he was trying. Kurama moaned in his deep thought…

_What in the world is right?_

_What in the world is wrong?_

_Memories! Please illuminate this darkness immediately!_

Before Kurama's eyes, he viewed various memories from the beginning up until recently. There was his time in the Makai, stealing and killing: dark and depressing memories of his vanity and shallow existence. And the time he spent first growing up in the human world, learning worldly and spiritual values from his loving, sweet mother, learning to love others and find his own way. Finally, the time he spent fighting for Spirit world alongside his first real friends, and the feeling of finally belonging and being able to open up to others in ways he couldn't with humans…

_If it's to protect someone precious to me,_

_It's okay if this body of mine is wounded._

_Its okay if this heart of mine burns._

A warm feeling spread through out his body. The thunder was still crackling menacingly, and the sky was just as dark and ominous as it had been when the nightmare struck him. Shakes still overcame his body, and tears still leaked every now and again. But there was a hand reaching out to him through the storm, and if he could, he would take it, and it would lead him away from the darkness. The scared child in his mind, lost in the darkness, uncurled himself and reached for the invisible hand, trusting in the unknown.

_Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly_

_The sound of distant cracking thunder_

_Don't be fooled by what you see._

In reality, Kurama loosened his hold and began to blink away the tears. If the scared inner-child he harbored could do it, than so could he. Tentatively, he searched. All he could see were his bed sheets, and his knees, with his pants all soaked with his own salty tears. Pulling back with his neck, he began to see the walls and the floors, and other small parts of the room around him. By turning his head slightly, he could even see the window, and the tree. Somehow, he didn't feel shocked. It was like he knew, somewhere deep inside… somehow.

_My heart is uncertain if it should_

_Track down the wounded future_

_Or tread on the broken tomorrow._

_Love…_

Certainly, he felt the movement, and recognized the warmth. The cold hands he felt in his nightmare turned gentle, and felt comforting. Craning his head, he could see the black clad warrior sitting beside him. Hiei didn't seem to notice, as he had fallen into a comfortable state almost like sleep, but not quite. Red eyes shifted and met with Kurama's. uncertain of the correct words to say in such a delicate situation, he chose to act slowly and cautiously. "Kurama… don't scare me like that." Though he wanted to scream, he fought to be calm and collected.

_Your voice, your gentle hands_

_They call me from out of these dreams_

_Always they call me._

Kurama slowly pulled himself up, with Hiei's small hands to support him. The headache was gone, but he still felt weak and tipsy, and it was comforting to be here, with Hiei's hands holding him steady. "Thank you." He said, smiling weakly at Hiei. Looking out the window, between the tree and the night sky, he could still see the lightning. The rain was still pouring, and not much had changed, but facing the things he had, Kurama felt so much better. "Hiei… we're much more alike than you think. I'm not as strong as you think."

_Even when struck by the fierce rain_

_Even when blown by cold winds_

_Seeking the light_

_I think of that tree's strength_

"I know." Hiei said, looking at his feet and fidgeting. "But I will always be here to wake you up from your stupid nightmares, Kurama." He said, looking at Kurama hopefully and scared. Rejection comes high these sorts of days. Many times he thought about saying such things. And maybe if Kurama didn't feel the same, he could still deny it when Kurama truly came around, him still being in a light daze. Kurama smiled and wrapped his arms around him, startling the demon and hugging him tight to his chest.

_Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly_

_The sound of distant, cracking thunder_

_Whenever I stand, my steps sway_

_If it's to protect someone precious to me_

_I'll become much more extraordinary than anyone_

"And I will keep you warm… Hiei." Kurama said, curling up in the fire demon's arms. The scared inner child wrapped himself in the darkness, warm and content, it's hand outstretched and holding on to something – trusting in the unseen… From within, Hiei felt himself reaching out as well, and for a second, he felt them connect deeply, and their hands connected subconsciously, as they both drifted off to sleep… a sleep that would not be haunted by any more uninvited, unexplained nightmares…

_I'll become stronger than anyone_

Done! Inspired by and using the lyrics from Nightmare by Ogata Megumi, which is one of Kurama's image songs, and if you haven't heard it, I recommend it because it's super cool. I hope you enjoyed it, and PLEASE REVIEW!

Christine Lennoire


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